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No one gets married thinking they will ever get divorced, unfortunately in the United States today more than 60% of all marriages end in divorce. The statistics get even worse for second marriages. If you are married and feel your relationship is not what it should be there are certain tell tale signs that may be saying you may be on the path to a divorce. In this article I will highlight some of the signs you may want to look for to see if your marriage could be on the divorce track.

First, a very strong sign could be when he or she tells you they don’t love you anymore. They don’t want to spend time with you anymore and there is a loss of intimacy.

Second, you find traces of another person being involved with your spouse. You may find strange pictures, personal possessions that belong to someone else that can not be explained.

Third, your spouse acting strange with no explanation. They seem to be keeping secrets. Friends start talking behind your back about your spouses behavior. Your spouse wants to take a separate vacation.

Fourth, your spouse tells you that they think they are gay.

Fifth, your phone rings at home and when you answer it the person on the other end of the line hangs up.

Sixth, your spouse tells you that they have found their soul mate and hope you understand.

Lastly, this is very important you realize something is wrong with your relationship and they won’t talk about what is wrong or try to seek help. They are willing to give up on you. It may very well be time for a divorce.

It is a fact that many married couples will face a dilemma sometime within the marriage, but over half of these couples do not understand that these problems can be fixed. You just need to be able to open up the lines of communication between your partner and work together to save your marriage. If you feel that you are in over, then all you need is advice from someone who has experience in this situation.

Here are a few tips that can get make a difference.

1. Understand that you are not going to change your spouses mind right away. There has got to be a strong reason that they have informed you about their desire for a divorce. It is going to take some time to slowly convince your spouse that your marriage is worth saving.

2. Listen to your spouses wants and needs. This will provide some great information on why your spouse wants the divorce and how you can start to repair the marriage in small steps.

3. Do not be defensive. This is a time to be understanding. I know that you may feel like you are the victim, but you need to understand that your spouse has the mentality that they are also a victim in this situation.

4. Stay away from name calling and other childish acts. It is not going to help, and working with your spouse in a material manner will get you farther.

The fact that you are looking to save your marriage in itself is fantastic. Showing your spouse that your marriage is a top priority will go along way in the future of you marriage.

Getting a divorce will be hard for both parties concerned. However, there are things that you as a man can do which can help to make the whole process a little easier for you. Below we offer some divorce tips for men that can make the process of getting divorce far less stressful or painful.

Tip 1 - If you want to achieve a satisfactory outcome at the end of your divorce then you need to remain civil towards your partner as much as you can. However, if you are having problems discussing matters with your partner don’t be afraid to use the services of a mediator. Although your lawyer is there to help you get through your divorce proceedings as smoothly as possible they don’t have the necessary skills to help you deal with the emotional aspects of this situation. So you are far better off seeking out the assistance of a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist.

Tip 2 - At all times throughout the divorce proceedings never use any children you have with your wife as bargaining tools. Remember that this is going to be an extremely difficult time for them and using them could end up costing you far more than you first thought. Not only could your wife get more out of the divorce settlement agreement but you may find that your children never want to have anything to do with you in the future.

Tip 3 - Although you may feel it is in your best interests to not tell your wife everything regarding your personal finances this can have a serious effect on the divorce settlement you get. In fact should these hidden accounts be found then in all likelihood your wife will receive a far better settlement than you originally anticipated.

Dating after a divorce is tough. You don’t quite know where to start so here are a few internet dating mistakes and their solutions.

1. Too much too soon
So you have been ploughing through those endless profiles on your internet dating site and have come up with someone who interests you. There has been an exchange of emails. He sounds fun and witty and you begin to look forward to his messages. You find yourself getting up earlier in the morning just to log on whilst you drink your coffee to see if he has sent a response to your latest remarks. During the day you compile witty replies in your head and suggestive lines to throw his way. This has gone on for a couple of weeks and he suddenly asks if he can call you. Your chest expands; you are really excited and arrange a time. Now you are curled up in your favourite chair waiting for the call. Guess what it goes well, the same light banter, his voice is not what you expect but that is OK. You talk for an hour. This becomes a daily ritual which you begin to plan your time around. And then he invites you to dinner…

2. Throwing money at it
It has been a while since someone invited you out to dinner (you may be just starting dating after your divorce). Your immediate thought is what to wear, need my hair done etc. This means that you spend the best part of a week running around with the one thought in your mind “I must get this right”. You seem to have disappeared and you feel that you need to invent a new person to go on this date. In order to be that person you have to package yourself in some particular way. There must be some key that you can find, a particular dress, new haircut etc. You believe that you need to make yourself more appealing.

3. Thinking that you know the person
The evening has arrived and you meet at the arranged restaurant (good step, as all the dating advice recommends that you meet in a public place). You are especially nervous and excited but also slightly uncomfortable because the shoes are new and you feel a bit wobbly in them. It is strange you recognise this person but at the same time you don’t. The voice you know that but he does not look like the person in the photograph, taller, shorter a bit heavier or gangly something is not as you imagined. Anyway he seems quite at ease but maybe that is just a contrast to how you are feeling. Initially conversation is going well as there are points of contact from your previous conversations but it isn’t going anywhere. By the main course you are starting to drink a little too much to fill in the silences. Your feet really hurt now and you are taking surreptitious glances at your watch – only 9 o’clock. No dessert thanks and by the way you have an early startin the office tomorrow so you have to go soon. Can’t think of anything but getting out of the shoes. Yes it was good, do call me…

4. Fantasy – it’s only in your head
Next day or later in the week, the emails/calls are still coming and you continue to respond. It’s a though you have never met and you can get on with the easy going repartee that has become almost a habit. In your mind he is something you want him to be, well not quite but you can have yourself believe that he is whilst you exchange messages and late night calls. You are starting to develop a whole life in your head around this person, you imagine where you can live with him, what you will do, holidays together in fact everything you ever want with someone. This is taking up a lot of head space but that is enjoyable in itself, you feel connected to someone if only in your mind.

5. Not paying attention to the signals
A week or so more and you are becoming slightly irritated by the emails and are not responding quite so readily. But he asks you if you want to come out for another evening and that heart leaps to your throat again. You agree even though there is a vague memory of discomfort from the first meeting. Well you remind yourself that all the dating advice recommends that it is aout getting to know someone. I can’t expect to feel comfortable about everything immediately. He is suggesting dinner again, you don’t really want to but you are not sure what you want to do so you go along with it. You had arranged to see a girl-friend that night but you tell her you can’t make it, she seems a bit put-out but you put that thought aside.The second evening seems very long.

Too much too soon – It is so tempting to put all your focus on one person at a time when you are looking to date on the internet. But it is important to remember that not
only are all those people out there looking at numerous people at any one time but you could be too. If you put most of your time and energy into any one contact at a very early stage this means that you cannot scout, screen and sort other possible people.
Dating Advice: Don’t make a big investment emotionally in any relationship without solid foundations.

Throwing money at it - Recent research has revealed that online daters are spending up to £1,500 a month taking out people who they realise, after the first 15 minutes
are not for them. (Independent, June 2005) Remember be authentic, the packaging is only that and is not who you are. Meeting for a cup of coffee or a drink will give you enough time to assess whether this person is someone you want to know better.
dating Advice: Packaging is not the answer, be clear about who you are, what you want in a relationship and set about finding it in a considered way.

Thinking you know this person – We can easily be seduced by email conversations and late night telephone calls. Apart from the actual chemistry that is missing in these exchanges there is that part that you know very well yourself, where you just reveal what you want at any given time. If you know what your requirements are in a relationship this will
help you assess quite quickly if this person is for you. Most of us allow things to just drift along and are not pro-active in having a plan for ourselves when it comes to relationships.
Dating Advice: How is it we plan for everything except relationships? Take some time to plan what you want in a relationship before you get into a habit or rut with someone.

Fantasy – it’s only in your head – It is very easy to live in the fantasy of a relationship even from a very early stage. After all that is why you have signed up on the dating site in the first place – you want a relationship. However, being truthful with yourself is easier if you have a relationship plan. Then you can ask yourself, from the information you have so far, does this person tick some of my boxes. If so then you can continue to find out more about them
whilst finding out about other people at the same time.Projecting onto any one person, especially at a very early stage, all you hopes and dreams is likely to bring you some amount of pain and heartache when you find this isn’t going to work out.
Dating Advice: Spread the emotional load by giving your attention to a number of people, it helps deal with the ups and downs of the dating cycle if you are not exclusive right from the start.

Not paying enough attention to the signals – it is amazing how quicky we can get ourselves into habits and relationships, however new, are one of those areas. We
all like attention and contact with people but what about the rest of your life, those friends who have been around for you, your family. Anyone who might be for you will, you hope, want to
share life with a person who has a balanced life and that includes all the other activities and people in your life. Straining towards exclusivity at a very early stage and throwing all your time and attention towards the relationship can be a disaster.
Dating Advice: Get out there and have any dating and relationships fit in with your life as a successful single. Know what your requirements, needs and wants are and look for
someone who can meet these.

© 2006 Trisha Stone

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“How can I get a date?” This has been an age-old question for single, lonely men and women throughout the ages. And, let’s face it - we have all asked ourselves this question at one point or another. Everyone faces a time in their lives when they have trouble hooking up with that right person for a date.

When you are looking for a date, it can feel like everyone but you has someone. And - it may even seem like certain other men or women you know have got some special “something” that makes it easy for them to get dates. The good news is, relationship dating techniques are very learnable, and anyone can do it if you have the right guidance.

Here are 5 relationship dating techniques that will put you in the position to hook up with that desirable somebody in no time:

1. Fish where the fish are:

There is an old saying among fishermen: fish where the fish are. In the world of dating, of course, this translates to: spend time and hang out where the desirable men and women are. This may sound obvious, but many people ignore this advice completely. They spend time alone on Saturday nights with a book, watching favorite TV shows, or surfing the Internet. Of course, that is the safest option for spending Saturday night. Trouble is, it is guaranteed not to net you a date. Instead, spend time where there are a lot of desirable potential mates hanging around. Could a bookstore, could be a bar, could be church - or even a rave. It doesn’t matter where you go, just as long as you put yourself where the fish are.

2. Get involved:

If you are like most people, you have settled into a routine that goes something like this: go to work/school, come home, engage in TV/Internet, go to bed . . . [repeat pattern next day]. Chances are you, if you think real hard, you will remember of a few hobbies that you used to love - or that you don’t spend enough time doing. The point is: zero in on what these hobbies are - these things you love to do - and find a way to do engage in them that can involve other people. Try online sites like MeetUp to get you away from your computer and in the presence of other who love what you love. Interested people are inherently more attractive than are people stuck in a rut. With just a little effort, you will find yourself in the midst of a bunch of potential mates. And, in the meantime, you will have rekindled your passion for life.

3. Tap friends and family for an introduction:

If you are fortunate enough to have at least one good friend or family member in this world, congratulations, you have a network (if not, revisit #2 above and you soon will). That means that it is highly likely that they know someone (who knows someone, etc.) who is great dating material. So, don’t be shy: leverage your personal contacts and ask them for an introduction to someone they think might be a love connection for you. What’s the worst that can happen? If you strike out on the blind date(s) they set you up on, you now have some more dating experience under your belt for next time.

4. Get a dog and take it for walks:

As common wisdom dictates, dogs and babies are great conversation starters. That is why it is so easy to meet other people at a dog park if you have a dog, and it’s the same reason why mothers find it so easy to hook up with other moms in their area. Try borrowing a friend’s dog or signing up to be a part-time professional dog walker. I guarantee that your dog will be a conversation starter. This is a great way to practice your communication skills, and it just might land you a date. (And, if you are a single parent, try joining a parent/child group in your area).

5. Put your most attractive self forward:

Many lonely single people resist putting too much effort into coming across and looking their best. This, of course, is a mistake if you want to get a date. Every time you leave your house, make sure you are clean, smelling good, and wearing clothes that make you look your best. If you are woman, try giving men a little eye contact now and again. If you are a man, project the right balance between cool confidence and humility. Put forth your best side and the best sides of others will be reflected back at you.

A parting thought: some lonely, single people harbor a flawed-but-understandable way of thinking that says, “If I risk and fail I will end up looking and feeling bad, but if I don’t try at all I have no chance of failing.” This type of thinking leads to inaction, and inaction is the greatest enemy of people looking for a date.

When you embark on a new relationship, sometimes it’s hard to know what exactly you should and shouldn’t do, especially if you’ve had a history of new relationships dying quickly. Here are some tips on what you can do in a new relationship to keep your woman happy:

- When you say something, mean it. Women need to feel like they are able to trust their man’s word. Also, don’t make any promises that you know you can’t keep (or that you suspect you might not be able to).

- Be happy with her for being who she is, or walk out the door. If she doesn’t dress the way you want your girlfriend to dress or look the way you want her to look, why are you with her?

- Respect her. Don’t talk about her behind her back, criticize her, share confidential details about her or your relationship with others, or prioritize spending time with your friends over spending time with her. Otherwise you can be almost guaranteed she will be hitting the road before long.

- Don’t be jealous or possessive. If you constantly have to know where she’s at and what she’s doing and/or throw a tantrum every time she so much as looks at another guy, you’re better off doing some soul-searching as to why you’re so insecure than you are pursuing a relationship. You don’t own her, and if you act like you do, you can be sure she will be waving bye-bye to you with quickness.

- Leave the past in the past. Don’t talk about exes and how every single one of them did you wrong, or how great everything was with this one ex. Women don’t like to compete with ghosts - and they won’t.

- Don’t just enjoy her on special occasions. Enjoy her every day. You don’t have to have a reason to buy her a card or tell her how special she is to you, and creating those “just because” moments is far more likely to “wow” her than just managing to remember to give her something for her birthday.

- Take things slowly. Don’t rush in long-term commitment. Spend some time getting to know each other on the relationship level before you decide you want to give in to a larger commitment.

- Listen to her. Pay attention to her. That means her likes, her dislikes, her moods, her wants, her needs. Take action on them as well - if you notice her eying a dress in a store, why not surprise her with it?

- Keep an open mind. Show a willingness to try out the new things she introduces to you, be it a new type of food, a new movie, new music, etc. If you do this she will be a lot more willing to try out things that interest you but are new to her.

- Show a sense of partnership. Don’t write something off as being “woman’s work” or refuse to let her take something on because it’s “a man’s job”. Share the workload equally.

If you apply these tips, you may find your new relationship sparking into brilliant flames rather than turning to dead ashes. Good luck with the new found lady in your life.

It does not matter whether you have over 25 years experience managing one or many relationships or a novice in this zone, each one of us have our own ideas of Romance. The definitions are as diverse as the person whose idea it is. Every relationship starts with romance, but somewhere in between life with its banalities come in the way. Whatever your beliefs and notions may be about Romance, I have drawn up a list which according to me are the most common myths about Romance:

1. No difference between romance and sex. Completely wrong notion. Romance can, in the least, is a precursor to sex. If a person becomes romantic, with only sex in mind, he will soon meet his Waterloo. Consider romance as a mere “mental foreplay”. It helps you to inform your loved one what your feelings are and that you have taken care to express your feelings.

2. Romance has no place in a relationship. Agreed, our work, hobbies and everything sometimes get higher priority than just romancing. But let us not forget that it is the romance in our lives, with our partner, that holds our lives together. It is that proverbial cementing factor which keeps our balance and keep us on track – not just with the partner, but with life in general. It is truly the pivot of life.

3. You need cash to be romantic. No way. You don’t have to flaunt your bank balance to be romantic. It’s all about making some small wishes and dainty dreams come true. Many times, pulling up a chair, opening the door, carrying a heavy bag for your partner or just paying a compliment on how she is looking today, takes you miles ahead in a romance, which no amount of expensive gifts and dinners can achieve.

4. Romance needs extra time and more extra effort. While I agree that some aspects of romance is indeed time consuming, but a whole lot of small and insignificant things can add a lot of romance to your relationship. Simple acts like making that phone call at the most unexpected time, turning the lights low, putting on her favorite music as she enters the room or prancing in the kitchen while dinner is getting cooked, can enliven and rekindle romance in your lives.

5. Romance is a woman only topic. It is a myth that women take the lead when it comes to the mater of romancing. Both men and women can jointly hunt out romance. The only difference lies is a romantic person thinks up of various small things to add that spark, whereas an unromantic person hardly has any innovative ideas.

6. Candy and flowers are enough. Of course they work in a romantic situation but don’t you think it has become very cliché? Try adding something new to the old thing. Present her with flowers and candy at a place where you first met or kissed. Doing or even thinking of doing this small extra bit, takes you a long way.

7. You’re either a born romantic or you can’t do it. I fully agree, you can’t fake romance. However there is nothing yet discovered called the “romance gene”, with which guys like Richard Burton or women like Marilyn Monroe were born. You need not be born with any special talent to be romantic. If it does not occur to you naturally, you can always take tips from books, internet or even TV. And the best thing about romance is that you can spread romance. You be romantic with your partner. Chances are that your partner will definitely reciprocate.

8. Saying I love you is enough. You can say this a hundred times during the day but it still may not be enough, if you are thinking of true romance. Actions speak louder than words here. Do something to show, take a small step to prove that “I love you” than just saying it. Write I love you on a small Post –It and stick on the bookmark of the book she will read before she goes to bed. Or write those magic words with a toothpick on a slab of butter at the breakfast table. Think and think hard. You will find many creative ways.

9. Romance needs a lot of preparation. The best part about romance is that there is no tried and tested formula which one can follow. Because the whole mater is subjective – what you find romantic might be silly to another. Devise your own ways…do something that matches your capabilities, and more importantly do something which your partner finds equally romantic. If you are clueless, ask, they are glad you took interest in the subject.

10. Its more than enough to be Romantic on Valentines Day and Sweetest Day. It is expected of you to be romantic on special days like these and your anniversary, birthdays etc. But can you be romantic all year round? Can you be consistent with your romantic ideas? If you can, then you have the key to a most romantic relationship of your life time. Something where the spark is permanently on.